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Sunday, October 01, 2006

Argument - Should Parents Give Kids Freedom?

Do you want your children to grow up? Stop watching them! Character, which signifies who you are and how you exist in the world, is the representative of an individual. The significance is hard to describe in few words. Furthermore, childhood is an important period of acquiring character, once the character is formed, it is inflexible. Therefore, how parents educate children is the key factor of developing their individuality. Usually, the treatment parents take is watching constantly or giving freedom. Either way could lead to an extreme. Thus, how to balance watching and freedom is a immense task that parents have to cope with.

The instinct of parents is to protect their young. They can’t stop worrying about everything concerning children, like health, safety, competitive ability, friends, school works, grades, and jobs etc, until closing their eyes. Moreover, parents get a vicarious thrill out of kids, who have chances to complete their dream. Kids are parental hopes. Once kids achieve the goals they want, the regrettable, incomplete parts inside them are fixed. Thus, parents watch kids’ every move to make sure they are on the path that they want. But keeping too close an eye on kids will cause the developmental problem of character.

First of all, protecting too much will cause the kids having no ability to make good decisions without parents. In the article, “Don’t Fall in to the Parent Trap,” Joan McFadden wrote that if kids can’t learn how to take risks when they are young, they are going to be not able to make a decision by themselves after they grow up and encounter many unexpected conditions. If parents limit children doing anything since they are little children, the damage will be greater than the benefits (2006). Next, parents always tell kids how to do what is correct because they don’t want them make mistakes. But that will lead to kids not being able to distinguish between right and wrong. They need to learn something from mistakes. Experience must be cumulated by perpetually amending mistakes. Furthermore, putting their faith on children relate the other important aspect of character, that is, confidence. Kids need to be trusted to prove that they have the knack of doing things well. Contrary to trust, doubting children will cause more harm in the future. McFadden suggests not to “smother” kids but to help them “grow up to be a confident part of the community. Kids need to be trusted, to be given freedom to discover the world for themselves. We all learn from our mistakes” (2006, par. 17). Moreover, if there is no trust between parents and kids, maybe it can’t be told in the short time, but days go by, kids will backfire. In Tovia Smith’s article “Technology Lets Parents Track Kids’ Every Move,” she mentions children’s tendency is to do something in the other way that you can’t image if they feel stress (2006, par. 15). If parents can’t help to protect children and monitor them all the time, it will result in more serious situations of bourgeoning character, such as independence.

Independence, which means an individual can deal with things well, is an important side of personality. If parents constantly supervise children instead of trusting them, independence will disappear without taking a form. In “Working parents create independent kids,” Andrew McGhee wrote a study reveals children with employed mothers “had a greater self-efficacy” than those whose mothers always stay at home (2006, par. 2). In other words, depending on parents all the time causes recent college students babyish, selfish, irresponsible, unreliable, slothful and worthless. Kids are getting used to parents doing everything for them. Eventually, they lose the common sense and can’t do even if simple things by themselves, such as wash dishes. Furthermore, the most serious problem is kids won’t really grow up forever. The things they do are because parents are overseeing behind them. Once they burn out, lose motivation to do everything, and get used to relying on parents, it is hard to be changed. Even though they are in the age that should be like an adult, a lot of behavior will still be childish, and they won’t know what responsibility is. This kind of personality will easily get confused when they confront many tough events after growing up physically. They have to spend much time, maybe entire life, to find out that who they are, which the correct direction is, and what their futures are. However, giving kids too much freedom will spoil them.

If parents connive to children all the time, they are going to be spoiled and not able to aware of how to respect other people. Kids whose parents are always doing everything they want will get used this kind of treatment, and they will claim someone else to do what they want. Moreover, they will encounter hassles when they contact others in the real world. No one will do what they want and they will be classified disrespectful people because they are always easily get angry for no one following their orders. Then the relationship will be getting worse and the remainder of life seems to be hard to keep going. Furthermore, spoiled children are going to easily become juvenile delinquents. We can see much news that the adolescent criminals are from wealthy families. They didn’t lack physical material, but the crime they committed was maybe just theft. When their parents went to the police office and tried to get their children away from there, they always couldn’t figure out why they did things like that.

In conclusion, the most important step of teaching children is to balance freedom and control. Too much watching will lead kids to have no confidence, no independence, irresponsibility, try to find some way to escape from parents and the pressure, and not be able to really grow up. In contrast, too much freedom will result in many social problems. Every kid is different. He is an individual organism. He can’t be the same as you. He will grow up anyway. If parents can learn how to combine the benefits of both sides, kids will know how their parents care about them, love them, and they will grow up with their own character, and parents will feel the excellent moment at that time. Maybe your children won’t grow up in the way you want, but life is an adventure, they will find their way out, and will be wonderful people with wonderful lives.


References
Corbella, L.(2006, August 6). Kids’ freedom lost to pervs. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://calsun.canoe.ca/News /Columnists
Mcfadden, J.( 2006, September 12). Don’t fall in to the parent trap. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://www.dailyrecord
McGhee, A. (2006, August 2). Working parents create independent kids. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://wildcat.arizona.edu/media
Smith, T.( 2006, August 29). Technology Lets Parents Track Kid’s Every Move. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://www.npr.org/templates/story

Friday, September 22, 2006

Friday Five#3

1. Given a choice, and imagining that money and time were no object, would you rather cook dinner, eat out or order in?
Eat out.

2. What is the most elaborate meal you've ever prepared yourself or purchased at a restaurant?
Making dumplings.

3. What food do you find yourself making and/or eating way too much?
Soup Noodles.

4. What was your most disastrous cooking/eating out experience?
Burning curry.

5. Would you rather cook for someone else or have them cook for you?
Having them cook for me.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Friday Five#2

1. What's your favorite line from a movie, and why?
Romantic movies.
It makes me feel warm and be in tearing.

2. Who's your favorite villain from a movie, and why?
Sean Pan.
His acting is perfect.

3. Name one movie everyone else loves that you hate.
The series of “Final Destination.”

4. Name one movie everyone else hates that you love.
No one.

5. What's your favorite Pixar film, and why?
Monsters Inc.
The story touched my heart and the characters are full of amazing creativity. My favorite role in the movie is the cute little girl.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Online bets firm boss held in U.S.

The article, Online bets firm boss held in U.S., appears in the CNN news. It reports U.S. authority arrested Peter Dicks, who is the chairman of Sportingbet Plc, which is a big online gambling game company. Two months ago, the U.S. authority also arrested David Carruthers, who is the CEO of BETonSPORTS. The action the U.S. took causes decrease in stocks of online gaming companies. After all, Sportingbet Plc is closing the business in U.S..

In my opinion, although gambling is going to incur many societal problems, it is impossible to remove it by any kind of authority. Gambling is a sort of popular activity from very long-long time ago. Many political powers tried to take control on it, but never succeeded. Meanwhile, gambling is a lure for every degree of people, even in a traditional way. Now, because of the development of internet, the investors are from whole of the world and increase a huge amount. The money involved is incredible. Thus, I am wondering that the blockage from U.S. will effectively resist the new type of gambling in America.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Friday Five: New Five, New Month

1) This is the 1st of September, what do you want to accomplish by the 31st?
I want to visit Memphis during the weekend of September.

2) What does September make you think about or feel?
Fall is coming. The weather is getting cold.

3) September is the ninth month; can you name nine memories so far from this year?
- I ate spicy hot pot with my good friends in January in Taipei, Taiwan.
- I went to watch the first opera in my life.
- I watched the movie, “The Da Vinci Code”, and almost fell asleep in the theater.
- I got the first laptop.
- I got my second digital camera.
- I came to America and got lost in Chicago O’Hare Airport.
- It was the first time I knew what TOEFL is.
- I went swimming at the Lake Kinkaid Spillway.
- I went to Chicago with five new friends who come from different countries.

4) What does September have in common with three other months and can you name them?
- September is the beginning of a semester, same with March.
- September belongs the season of fall, same with October and November.

5) The first weekend in September signals the end of summer for many even though it doesn’t really end for weeks. When does summer end for you?
For me, summer end is almost in November.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Jesse James, PBS.

The website I visited is “Jesse James, PBS.” There is much detailed information introducing Jesse James, who is still the legend of Missouri nowadays. It reports not only about Jesse James himself, but his family and the people who killed him for the $10,000 reward. Library of Congress and Jesse James Museum offered the site many photos. In addition, a game named “Shooting Gallery” that visitors can know more about Jesse James by “shooting” answers is very interesting.

It is interesting that a criminal is a hero forever. The figure of a legend is always colorful, and Jesse James is exactly that kind of figure in Missouri. The part of the website I like is the link named “Special Features.” There are several games included. The way designed to let the visitors know more about Jesse James is entertaining. After playing the games, maybe you will be interested in knowing more about Jesse James.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Hackers’ Hall of Fame

I went to the site, “Hackers’ Hall of Fame.” This side introduces fifteen famous hackers. Their pictures take turns on the top of this page. If you want to know about the detail about each of them, you have two choices. One is to click the picture you are interested in. The other one is to choose the number that you want. On the left side, you can link to the connection information about hackers – Lingo, Hackers Hoaxes, and Cyber Terrorism.

Although I don’t like hackers, I have to admit that almost all of them are intelligent. When I got into several of the fifteen hackers’ information and looked at the details, I was surprised that to be a hacker is just like their vocation. They can’t stop. By the way, I like the simple style of the design of this site. It’s clean and clear and everyone can find the information they want easily.