Argument - Should Parents Give Kids Freedom?
Do you want your children to grow up? Stop watching them! Character, which signifies who you are and how you exist in the world, is the representative of an individual. The significance is hard to describe in few words. Furthermore, childhood is an important period of acquiring character, once the character is formed, it is inflexible. Therefore, how parents educate children is the key factor of developing their individuality. Usually, the treatment parents take is watching constantly or giving freedom. Either way could lead to an extreme. Thus, how to balance watching and freedom is a immense task that parents have to cope with.
The instinct of parents is to protect their young. They can’t stop worrying about everything concerning children, like health, safety, competitive ability, friends, school works, grades, and jobs etc, until closing their eyes. Moreover, parents get a vicarious thrill out of kids, who have chances to complete their dream. Kids are parental hopes. Once kids achieve the goals they want, the regrettable, incomplete parts inside them are fixed. Thus, parents watch kids’ every move to make sure they are on the path that they want. But keeping too close an eye on kids will cause the developmental problem of character.
First of all, protecting too much will cause the kids having no ability to make good decisions without parents. In the article, “Don’t Fall in to the Parent Trap,” Joan McFadden wrote that if kids can’t learn how to take risks when they are young, they are going to be not able to make a decision by themselves after they grow up and encounter many unexpected conditions. If parents limit children doing anything since they are little children, the damage will be greater than the benefits (2006). Next, parents always tell kids how to do what is correct because they don’t want them make mistakes. But that will lead to kids not being able to distinguish between right and wrong. They need to learn something from mistakes. Experience must be cumulated by perpetually amending mistakes. Furthermore, putting their faith on children relate the other important aspect of character, that is, confidence. Kids need to be trusted to prove that they have the knack of doing things well. Contrary to trust, doubting children will cause more harm in the future. McFadden suggests not to “smother” kids but to help them “grow up to be a confident part of the community. Kids need to be trusted, to be given freedom to discover the world for themselves. We all learn from our mistakes” (2006, par. 17). Moreover, if there is no trust between parents and kids, maybe it can’t be told in the short time, but days go by, kids will backfire. In Tovia Smith’s article “Technology Lets Parents Track Kids’ Every Move,” she mentions children’s tendency is to do something in the other way that you can’t image if they feel stress (2006, par. 15). If parents can’t help to protect children and monitor them all the time, it will result in more serious situations of bourgeoning character, such as independence.
Independence, which means an individual can deal with things well, is an important side of personality. If parents constantly supervise children instead of trusting them, independence will disappear without taking a form. In “Working parents create independent kids,” Andrew McGhee wrote a study reveals children with employed mothers “had a greater self-efficacy” than those whose mothers always stay at home (2006, par. 2). In other words, depending on parents all the time causes recent college students babyish, selfish, irresponsible, unreliable, slothful and worthless. Kids are getting used to parents doing everything for them. Eventually, they lose the common sense and can’t do even if simple things by themselves, such as wash dishes. Furthermore, the most serious problem is kids won’t really grow up forever. The things they do are because parents are overseeing behind them. Once they burn out, lose motivation to do everything, and get used to relying on parents, it is hard to be changed. Even though they are in the age that should be like an adult, a lot of behavior will still be childish, and they won’t know what responsibility is. This kind of personality will easily get confused when they confront many tough events after growing up physically. They have to spend much time, maybe entire life, to find out that who they are, which the correct direction is, and what their futures are. However, giving kids too much freedom will spoil them.
If parents connive to children all the time, they are going to be spoiled and not able to aware of how to respect other people. Kids whose parents are always doing everything they want will get used this kind of treatment, and they will claim someone else to do what they want. Moreover, they will encounter hassles when they contact others in the real world. No one will do what they want and they will be classified disrespectful people because they are always easily get angry for no one following their orders. Then the relationship will be getting worse and the remainder of life seems to be hard to keep going. Furthermore, spoiled children are going to easily become juvenile delinquents. We can see much news that the adolescent criminals are from wealthy families. They didn’t lack physical material, but the crime they committed was maybe just theft. When their parents went to the police office and tried to get their children away from there, they always couldn’t figure out why they did things like that.
In conclusion, the most important step of teaching children is to balance freedom and control. Too much watching will lead kids to have no confidence, no independence, irresponsibility, try to find some way to escape from parents and the pressure, and not be able to really grow up. In contrast, too much freedom will result in many social problems. Every kid is different. He is an individual organism. He can’t be the same as you. He will grow up anyway. If parents can learn how to combine the benefits of both sides, kids will know how their parents care about them, love them, and they will grow up with their own character, and parents will feel the excellent moment at that time. Maybe your children won’t grow up in the way you want, but life is an adventure, they will find their way out, and will be wonderful people with wonderful lives.
References
Corbella, L.(2006, August 6). Kids’ freedom lost to pervs. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://calsun.canoe.ca/News /Columnists
Mcfadden, J.( 2006, September 12). Don’t fall in to the parent trap. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://www.dailyrecord
McGhee, A. (2006, August 2). Working parents create independent kids. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://wildcat.arizona.edu/media
Smith, T.( 2006, August 29). Technology Lets Parents Track Kid’s Every Move. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://www.npr.org/templates/story
The instinct of parents is to protect their young. They can’t stop worrying about everything concerning children, like health, safety, competitive ability, friends, school works, grades, and jobs etc, until closing their eyes. Moreover, parents get a vicarious thrill out of kids, who have chances to complete their dream. Kids are parental hopes. Once kids achieve the goals they want, the regrettable, incomplete parts inside them are fixed. Thus, parents watch kids’ every move to make sure they are on the path that they want. But keeping too close an eye on kids will cause the developmental problem of character.
First of all, protecting too much will cause the kids having no ability to make good decisions without parents. In the article, “Don’t Fall in to the Parent Trap,” Joan McFadden wrote that if kids can’t learn how to take risks when they are young, they are going to be not able to make a decision by themselves after they grow up and encounter many unexpected conditions. If parents limit children doing anything since they are little children, the damage will be greater than the benefits (2006). Next, parents always tell kids how to do what is correct because they don’t want them make mistakes. But that will lead to kids not being able to distinguish between right and wrong. They need to learn something from mistakes. Experience must be cumulated by perpetually amending mistakes. Furthermore, putting their faith on children relate the other important aspect of character, that is, confidence. Kids need to be trusted to prove that they have the knack of doing things well. Contrary to trust, doubting children will cause more harm in the future. McFadden suggests not to “smother” kids but to help them “grow up to be a confident part of the community. Kids need to be trusted, to be given freedom to discover the world for themselves. We all learn from our mistakes” (2006, par. 17). Moreover, if there is no trust between parents and kids, maybe it can’t be told in the short time, but days go by, kids will backfire. In Tovia Smith’s article “Technology Lets Parents Track Kids’ Every Move,” she mentions children’s tendency is to do something in the other way that you can’t image if they feel stress (2006, par. 15). If parents can’t help to protect children and monitor them all the time, it will result in more serious situations of bourgeoning character, such as independence.
Independence, which means an individual can deal with things well, is an important side of personality. If parents constantly supervise children instead of trusting them, independence will disappear without taking a form. In “Working parents create independent kids,” Andrew McGhee wrote a study reveals children with employed mothers “had a greater self-efficacy” than those whose mothers always stay at home (2006, par. 2). In other words, depending on parents all the time causes recent college students babyish, selfish, irresponsible, unreliable, slothful and worthless. Kids are getting used to parents doing everything for them. Eventually, they lose the common sense and can’t do even if simple things by themselves, such as wash dishes. Furthermore, the most serious problem is kids won’t really grow up forever. The things they do are because parents are overseeing behind them. Once they burn out, lose motivation to do everything, and get used to relying on parents, it is hard to be changed. Even though they are in the age that should be like an adult, a lot of behavior will still be childish, and they won’t know what responsibility is. This kind of personality will easily get confused when they confront many tough events after growing up physically. They have to spend much time, maybe entire life, to find out that who they are, which the correct direction is, and what their futures are. However, giving kids too much freedom will spoil them.
If parents connive to children all the time, they are going to be spoiled and not able to aware of how to respect other people. Kids whose parents are always doing everything they want will get used this kind of treatment, and they will claim someone else to do what they want. Moreover, they will encounter hassles when they contact others in the real world. No one will do what they want and they will be classified disrespectful people because they are always easily get angry for no one following their orders. Then the relationship will be getting worse and the remainder of life seems to be hard to keep going. Furthermore, spoiled children are going to easily become juvenile delinquents. We can see much news that the adolescent criminals are from wealthy families. They didn’t lack physical material, but the crime they committed was maybe just theft. When their parents went to the police office and tried to get their children away from there, they always couldn’t figure out why they did things like that.
In conclusion, the most important step of teaching children is to balance freedom and control. Too much watching will lead kids to have no confidence, no independence, irresponsibility, try to find some way to escape from parents and the pressure, and not be able to really grow up. In contrast, too much freedom will result in many social problems. Every kid is different. He is an individual organism. He can’t be the same as you. He will grow up anyway. If parents can learn how to combine the benefits of both sides, kids will know how their parents care about them, love them, and they will grow up with their own character, and parents will feel the excellent moment at that time. Maybe your children won’t grow up in the way you want, but life is an adventure, they will find their way out, and will be wonderful people with wonderful lives.
References
Corbella, L.(2006, August 6). Kids’ freedom lost to pervs. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://calsun.canoe.ca/News /Columnists
Mcfadden, J.( 2006, September 12). Don’t fall in to the parent trap. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://www.dailyrecord
McGhee, A. (2006, August 2). Working parents create independent kids. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://wildcat.arizona.edu/media
Smith, T.( 2006, August 29). Technology Lets Parents Track Kid’s Every Move. Retrieved September 13, 2006, from http://www.npr.org/templates/story
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